I Like This Trajectory
There are moments when life answers a question you didn’t realize you’d been asking.
🌟🌟🌟
shy rockstar
What is it about Sundays that makes the truth louder?
Maybe it’s the way the city slows.
Maybe it’s the way we finally stop performing.
Maybe it’s because Sundays were always meant for reflection, Carrie knew that long before I did.
It was on a Sunday, not long after I wrote about feeling like part of the undesirable club, that my life quietly shifted. An unexpected grand announcement and of course I made a spectacle of excitement. The kind of moment you don’t rush through.
This is one of those moments.
The News That Changed the Room
Somewhere between the everyday rituals, coffee cooling untouched, mirrors catching me mid-thought, conversations drifting without urgency, I found myself holding a truth that felt heavier than surprise and lighter than fear.
I’m engaged 💍🥰
I guess I’ll just…
And even writing that sentence feels surreal in the softest way.
Because if you had asked me before, I might’ve told you I was more interested in becoming than arriving. More curious about evolution than endings. I’ve always believed love should feel like expansion, not performance. Like safety, not spectacle. Like something that grows with you, not something you shrink for.
Love Without the Performance
And just like that, in a rom-com blur and a perfectly thoughtful fantasy. It happened in real life, messy, beautiful, grounded real life. The kind where you’ve seen each other tired. Frustrated. Celebrating. Becoming. The kind where love isn’t just a feeling, it’s a practice.
And what surprised me most wasn’t the ring (though she is…. cute).
It was the calmness of having no hesitations.
The deep exhale of knowing I’m not being chosen for potential or proximity, but for who I am right now. Soft days. Sharp edges. Quiet ambition. Big heart. Shy rockstar and all.
The Shy Rockstar Paradox
Being a shy rockstar means holding two truths at once:
I don’t need to be seen by everyone, but I need to be seen fully by someone.
This chapter of my life feels less like a reveal and more like alignment. I’m not shrinking into partnership, and I’m not expanding for approval. I’m standing exactly where I am, perceptive, quietly powerful and saying yes without abandoning myself.
There’s something radical about being loved without having to audition. About being witnessed in your becoming and still being met with certainty.
That’s the flex.
Black Girl Love, Unedited
I used to wonder if partnership could exist without me having to harden or hustle or disappear parts of myself to be digestible.
Turns out—it can.
There’s something sacred about Black women choosing love that doesn’t cost them their intuition.
I’m not entering this engagement as a woman who’s been saved, softened, or settled. I’m entering it as a woman who stepped into the same path on her life as alignment.
And maybe that’s the real engagement here.
Not just to a person, but to a shared trajectory.
One that feels intentional. Mutual. Spacious.
This isn’t a pivot away from but into myself.
I’m still me. Still asking questions. Still growing. Still romanticizing the small moments. Still protecting my softness like it’s sacred.
But now, I’m doing it alongside someone who doesn’t flinch at my depth or my joy.
I don’t know every detail of what comes next—and I don’t need to.
What I know is this: I like the way my life is unfolding without force. I like how joy is showing up without explanation. I like how love feels less like a question and more like a steady sentence.
I like this trajectory 🥰
Vibe Ritual: For the Nights You Feel Unseen
Lighting: Turn off the overheads. One lamp. Soft glow. Curtain slightly open to the streetlight outside.
Soundtrack: Young Dolph ft Megan Thee Stallion “RNB”.
Scent: A grounding patchouli or sandalwood. Something that makes the room feel like it’s exhaling with you.
Drink: A glass of red wine with depth, or a peppermint tea that reminds your lungs they belong to you.
Action: Journal one page answering:
Who am I becoming and what kind of rooms deserve her energy?
Burn the answer into your memory.
Carry it into every entrance.
Walk in like the room is lucky you came.
for the vibes
cheers to who you’re becoming and the rooms that deserve that power
