Is This Anything?

Nov 30

Written By Cass C

🌟🌟🌟

A Question Whispered in the Quiet.

Lately I’ve felt caught in a strange current, drifting through routines, rituals, checklists, and the constant self-improvement we swear is supposed to anchor us. And yet, even with every box checked, I sometimes feel like I’m swimming through someone else’s ocean… just a visitor, floating in a world that doesn’t fully feel like mine.

You know that feeling, right? When you’re doing everything “right”…
and still wondering where you fit.

I’ve been tallying my little wins.
I’ve been tending to my growth.
I’ve been talking to my mom, holding space for the disconnect with my dad, a story I’m still working up the courage to write.
I’ve been showing up for myself in all the ways that look good on paper.

And still, beneath it all, there’s this hum:

Is this really my world?
Or am I just passing through someone else's narrative?

It’s a strange ache, this longing for belonging.
This desire for your people, your softness, your tribe, your mirrored soul.
Even while building your life with both hands, it can still feel like you’re searching for the room where you truly belong.

And yet, a persistent hum resonates beneath it all: Is this truly my world? Or am I merely a guest, perpetually searching for the familiar faces, the kindred spirits, the tribe that feels like home? This constant ache of lacking belonging, and perhaps even purpose, can be a heavy cloak. It’s a strange paradox, isn’t it? To be so diligently building, so earnestly striving, and still feel like an outsider in your own narrative.

Dog staring out of a car window with calm curiosity while a woman drives beside her, captured in a candid Shy Rockstar street-style moment. — she gets it

Why Does My Self-Improvement Feel Like Someone Else's World?

I look for signs, cosmic breadcrumbs that say, keep going.
A moment of synchronicity here.
A tender win there.
A glimpse of alignment between breaths.

But then the deeper questions rise at 3AM, staring at the ceiling:

Is God proud of me?
Does the universe see me?
Is it allowed to give me more than “just enough”?

And suddenly the guilt creeps in,
for even asking.
For wanting more than survival.
For desiring softness and joy without having to bleed for it.

So much of what we do is for others,
for connection, for comfort, for shared laughter, for the quiet knowing that we helped someone breathe easier.

But then a new question appeared, sharp as truth:

Can wins find me, too?
Can success, belonging, joy, and ease arrive without a fight?
Can the universe choose me… just because?

Maybe this feeling, this raw, trembling question of “Is this anything?”, is the entire point.

Maybe it's the pause before the bloom.
The stillness before the music.
The inhale before the next version of you steps onto the balcony.

Maybe the question itself is an invitation.

To be seen.
By you.
By God.
By whatever is listening when you whisper your fears into the night.

And maybe, in that honesty, is where belonging actually begins.

Your Vibe Ritual: The Echo of Purpose

Lighting: Sit somewhere quiet where the light feels gentle, sunlight pooling through a window or a single candle flickering low.
Soundtrack: Summer Walker “FMT”.
Scent: Cedarwood, frankincense, or fresh air. Something that puts you in your body.
Drink: Herbal tea (chamomile + mint), or chilled cucumber water. Or my favorite a glass of Cab Sauv.
Action: Journal for five minutes without rules. Ask yourself:

“If this were fully my world, what would it look like? And what tiny, brave choice can I make today to claim a piece of it?”

Sit with whatever rises.
Sometimes the whisper is the answer.

for the vibes