Just a girl, becoming
The world outside my balcony doesn’t stop moving — cars rushing, palms swaying, the sky shifting from light to dark. But in the middle of it all, I’m learning to stay soft. Not fragile, not weak, but soft in the way water is soft — able to bend, flow, and still carve its own path. Being a “soft girl” in a storm isn’t about pretending the chaos isn’t there. It’s about choosing to anchor myself in stillness, painting my own quiet moments, and reminding myself that softness is a strength and I’m still a ray of fucking sunshine.
Soft beginnings
quiet pauses , the calm before life rushes in.
Hey Shy Rockstar!
Since declaring myself a ray of fucking sunshine, there’ve been days I felt the fog.
Not the messy, get-lost kind. The kind that seduces you into stillness and whispers, “Stay here a little longer”. And I did. I sat with heartbreaks I had already archived. I reached for softness that wasn’t mutual. I wondered if my light was fading or if I was simply resting in the shadows for a while ( the problem when you’re a shy rockstar).
The Weight of Hope
There were storms. Of the emotional kind, that tosses truth around like furniture during a fight 👀. My relationship buckled under the pressure of too many unsaid truths.
And still, I held onto hope like it was the last shot of tequila (reposado of course) at a birthday party I wasn’t sure I belonged at.
While juggling my emotions and right to rage, I learned that hope is heavy when you carry it alone. It also taught me that if you’re the softest girl in the room, definitely ask for more.
Choosing Both Light and Boundaries
This era of my life is about sensual boundaries. Lush self-love. Emotional transparency and love letters to myself I should’ve written and sent a long time ago. I can be rebuilding and radiant. Soft and sovereign.
This is for the ones showing up tender and timid but never shrinking. Remember through it all, you can honor what you’ve built through the storms and still protect what you’re becoming, because being ray of fucking sunshine isn’t about pretending everything is okay, its about choosing yourself and your light.
So my fellow shy rockstar, if you’re in a storm right now too, you don’t have to be perfect. Just honest, just here and just trying.
Lets make a our next chapter a concert and most importantly ours.
Welcome back to the vibe bestie, light a candle and let your light burn brighter than your fear.
Vibe Ritual: “Rain & Resilience”
Lighting: Dim lighting or candlelight only.
Soundtrack: “Broken Clocks” – SZA, “The Journey” – H.E.R., “Lost Me” – Giveon.
Scent: Something grounding like sandalwood, cedar, or my favorite palo santo to clear your head.
Drink: A warm cup of tea, maybe chamomile + lemon balm or a red wine with depth.
Action: Journal for 5 minutes and ask yourself: “What parts of me still shine, even when I’m hurting?”
Toast to your healing. You are for the vibes, especially when dimmed.🥂
We’re never getting this time back, Lets have a ball🫦